Tony's Bright Idea (FIXED)
by Introvertasaurus
Summary: After an evening of movie watching with Pepper, Tony gets a horrible, wonderful idea that involves a quick call to his seamstress and a late night visit to annoying the crap out of a certain Capsicle. FIXED (hopefully:/ If there are glitches, please tell me. Thank you!)


**Hey all! This is the elusive Introverasaurur here to bring you my first Fan Fic! Woo woo! Sorry for the bugs the first time around, but hopefully I fixed it. Anyway, this is a one-shot and my first story, so please no flames. I don't own anything. Not Marvel. Not Up. Nothing. Sad, but true :/ I also this story is only roughly proof read. Sorry not sorry. Hope you all like it! ON WITH THE STORY!**

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It all started when Pepper suggested having a movie night every week with Tony. It was during one of those nights that they decided to watch Up and everything escalated from there.

During the first ten minutes of the Pixar film, Tony rubbed his eyes and mumbled something about "dumb robots not cleaning good enough" and having "dust" in his eyes. Pepper just patted his hand and rolled her eyes. She looked over at him during the scene when Russel was talking about his father not being around and, though there was an apathetic look in his eyes, there was also a tension in Tony's jaw.

By the end of the movie, both adults were smiling and it was well after midnight. Pepper said goodnight to Tony and Gave him a chaste kiss, knowing that he would not be coming to bed any time soon and Tony headed down to his workshop.

It was among all the nuts, bolts, wires, scraps, and computers that Tony got an idea. He got a terrible idea. He got a terribly wonderful idea that brought an evil, slightly psychotic smile to his face. He immediately told JARVIS to make a call to his favorite seamstress and place an order.

It was two days later when his package came and Tony couldn't wait to use it.

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Steve rogers groggily walked to his door after hearing a knock on his apartment door. It was Saturday-no make that Sunday morning. Three o'clock in the morning on a Sunday. A permanent half pout, half glare was set on the Captain's face as he trudged up to the door, shield in hand and ready to knock whoever was on the other side of the door into the next alley.

He yawned and braced for the worst as he unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door with a sudden jerk. What he was made him freeze and blink a few times to make sure that he wasn't still sleeping or delusional. Nope. Tony was still there. At his door. At Three o'clock in the morning. On a Sunday.

Normally, Steve would have just rolled his eyes and slammed the door in Tony's face, but normally Tony would come over drunk and looking for someone to experiment on or to talk all scientific to. This was not normally. Nope, Tony wasn't swaying from intoxication or holding up a vial for Steve to drink. He was just standing there. At Steve's apartment door. At Three o'clock in the morning. On a Sunday. Holding a Wilderness Explorer handbook. Wearing a Wilderness Explorer uniform complete with shorts that stopped a ways above his knees.

Steve just stood there, an incredulous look on his face, frozen and a strange mix of disgust and confusion. Confusion because Tony Freaking Stark was standing in his hallway in a complete Wilderness explorer getup. Disgust because of the length of his shorts. Seriously, Daisy Dukes never looked good on a grown man with hairy legs. A slight shiver went down Steve's spine.

Now one may ask how the Capsicle knew about Wilderness Explorers. Well, Darcy mentioned it and he decided to put it on his list and later watched it with Sam during one of their 'manly' get-togethers. Which in reality involved open gallon jugs of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a lot of Disney and Dreamworks' movie marathons and off key singing.

Back to the present, Tony didn't even glance up at Steve, as his face was mere inches away from the handbook as he read out in a monotonous voice that paused after every word and scanning the page of the book with intensity, "Good afternoon. My name is Tony and I am a Wilderness Explorer in Tribe fifty-four, sweat lodge twelve. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?"

Tony looked up at Steve in anticipation, eyes wide and eager. Steve shook his head to clear his thoughts and said, _"Gosh darn it Tony_! It's freaking three o'clock in the morning!"

"A Wilderness Explorer is _always_ eager to help. At any time or place," Tony stated smugly, pointing his finger at Steve, and then repeated, "Do you need any assistance today, sir?"

"No," Steve said flatly.

"I am trying to get my assisting the elderly badge, sir. Is there anything at all that I could do? I could... help you cross the street?" Tony asked with a slight pout.

"No," Steve huffed impatiently and leaned on his door frame.

"I could... help you cross the hall?"

 _"No."_ Getting angrier, and stifling a yawn, the captain rolled his eyes.

"I could-"

 **"No."**

"Well I've got to help an old fart cross something!" Tony nearly yelled, exasperatedly throwing his hands up in the air in frustration.

 _"Goodnight_ Tony," Steve said through gritted teeth and slammed the door. Right on Tony's foot.

Tony cursed loudly and grabbed his foot, mumbling, "It didn't look like it hurt that much in the movie."

"Tony go find a snipe or something and _leave me alone!"_ Steve yelled and slammed the door. This time actually closing it.

Tony huffed indignantly and yelled, "Old people these days!"

With that he stomped off back to his car. On the way back to the Avengers' Tower, he told JARVIS to find him a snipe seller and send a specially packaged one to Captain Killjoy's address. Steve _did_ tell him to find one and heck if he wasn't going to get his assisting the elderly badge out of all this.

End.

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 **Thank you for reading! I hope you all liked it! If you want to review, I love you, but, if not, that's fine too. It's your choice. No pressure. ^-^**


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